I'm electronic, mon ...mashin' down the place, yeah Sound to move you move and groove Sound to make you socialize! So I won't poke out no eyes, mon! Hello? Grrrrahhhh! Cough cough Hey, where did everybody go?

Oh goodness, we're in a bad place Governments are corrupt and takling absolute control, and the last man standing is the US 2nd Amendment... Oh, not it's not...I think you put it already on it... A great leader was asked... Going down, going down to the... Are guests allowed to see this bathroom, or only employees? And are only guests likely to include foreign spies posing as guests? Or could foreign spies pose as people who need a job at Mar-A-Lago? Aaaaaaahhh...and the tenors! Of all the nerve.. And does that door lock from the inside so a spy could go in and make big sounds like NNNGGH... Oh why they, why they, they... Dropping deuces when really they're dropping deuces and scanning our nuclear secrets.. Define patriotism. every two bit grifter calls themselves patriots these days. Oh, not it's not...I think you put it already on it... What are you talking about? You have been lied to... Why do you do it?

There is one way out. Just got back...(garbled) I couldn't tell which of the clowns was the one who owned the tent. All right! This is the last time! We play strictly mellow music.

Does this bathroom have a force field around it? Is it special like that? Does Byron Donalds even know for a fact which bathroom all the nuclear secrets were in, or is he just lying? Was one of the questions "Do you promise not to look at the nuclear secrets in here unless you promise to give them to Vladimir Putin?" Part of the evil genius of Fox News and the rest of the right-wing media is personalization of the news. Not in a realistic way, I mean in a delusional way. the message of Fox and the rest of the right-wing media is "They're coming for you!!!" In April of last year, the New York Times published an analysis of hundreds of Tucker Carlson broadcasts and noted that his go-to message was "They want to do bad things to you."

Stand firm, don't be eaten by no worm! Yeah! Look out below! ...like San Jose...that's funny...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....etc.

"A man passes for what he is worth. Very idle is all curiosity concerning other people's estimate of us, and all fear of remaining unknown is not less so. If a man know that, he can do anything--that he can do it better than anything else--he has the pledge of the acknowledgement of that fact by all persons." -Ralph Waldo Emerson It's human nature! (Yeah) That's not something to be concerned about, it's good I went through it! That is true, we say, but why are so many people fooled and cheated by others? We allow ourselves to be fooled because we want to be fooled. It's human nature! (Yeah) That's not something to be concerned about, it's good I went through it! It shows I'm on the ball! I'm literate!

Sister ital! One note wonder! Little Johnny one note! He goes to church on Sunday He passes round the contribution box But meet him at the office on a Monday He's as crooked and as cunning as a fox on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday He's robbing everybody that he can But he goes to church on Sunday, So they say that he's an honest man.

Counting the holes in the ceiling I'm serving time in a Nazi kindergarten for my attitude crimes. They talk down to everybody here So you gotta smile when they do or they won't feed you your candy. I've been listening to the other idiots tell themselves jokes all day. The radio is stuck on the whoopee cushion simulcast And I'm in the corner pickin' scabs off my brain. I've been hearing talk going around about some tightening of security Somebody's been stealing stuffing from the couches and feeding it to the guard dogs. They circulated a memo yesterday warning us that disrespectful behavior will be punished. Some of us laughed, so they took down our names. Next month they'll be cutting our rations again. Water is just too expensive to waste this way, and we'll have to learn to do without it. I understand. That's OK. It's hard for the people up there to get along and I respect that, I really do. They put up a wall for us to write anonymous messages on. The wall is photographed every day and prints are sent to a handwriting analyst Who visits us one by one and recites our psychological problems. We are all severely disturbed. Serving time in a Nazi kindergarten for leading a disorganized life. Time for our naps. There goes the buzzer. Roll out the carpet. Roll up your sleeve, pull down your pants and say thank you.

AUGGHHH! Hey, where did everybody go?

Da da da da da...etc.

Forward rhythm! Our next bird song, fellow feather lovers, will be the song of the Double Breasted Cheese Grater. I went to see my baby, I tell you, she was rather curt. "I'd like to see the creep in jail" Barbara: Creepo!!! "...but I'd rather see him dead." We got horns and confetti, flags, and plenty of signs, a lot of marchin' Do you think this is all you're gonna get out of this convention? Do you think your candidate will fall after tonight? No sir, I think he has a good chance yet. This is Captain Kirk! Beam me aboard! This is funny. No you're doing it wrong...let me...Mr. Spark is setting the Bridge on fire! I'm saying this! I'm saying this! I'm saying this!

We need Reagan! We need Reagan! Do you have a wig on? Yes, I'm from Missouri. We've been here for Ronnie all week. Main Street America wants Ronnie Reagan. We're nominating Ronnie tonight! We're tired of trying to change the world 'Cause nothing ever works The Revolution never came It made us feel like jerks! "Well, if there are no questions, um, I'd better be getting back to work." (Senator Schweiker wasn't very convincing.) I know, I know Dread, Dread, well, dread dread dread dread...

SPOONS! FORKS! KNIVES!

"A man ahead of his own time, who was gifted with an independent free-thinking mother, and who never had to grow up with the burden and the weight of racism in his family. He overcame that burden and because he has worked side by side with people of all kinds..." "...is not the choice of a woman to murder her child, but the choice to give it life!" "...and to move on to a beloved community!" "...and if she does not choose to have a child, then she can utilize those methods of fertility control from natural family planning until..." I've been lyin'....oh, f... Believe me when I tell you...

That's what it is! Oh really? It's my favorite so far... Watch your sound. War and friction over the land! I wash and I wash but the stain is still there, oh my God. Do I have a God? Let's see.

Unintelligible

Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup...etc.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... That was even worse! OK...

Bredren, sistren, come together Know how good and peaceful it is For I to live in peace and unity! And harmony! Discordant harmony! Broken glass kind of harmony! You know, like a Metal Machine Music...

Forget it Donny, you're out of your element!

Some delegates who wear garish advertising gimmicks look more like they're ready for primitive tribal rites! (garbled) ...the President....

Unintelligible but awful

Look, there he is up in the sky! I'd recognize that beard anywhere, look! her he comes! Here he comes! This is a great moment in history, what do you think of it? Bob: "Raoooorrrraoooowrlllaaaaaa"

To the right, the arrests and convictions that followed January 6 are proof of concept. People aren't being arrested and convicted because they're actually guilty of crimes -- they're being arrested and convicted because they're out to get you. This particular message didn't come from Trump -- it came from the right-wing misinformation machine, and Trump eventually picked it up. The misinformation machine (which includes many Republican members of Congress) offers other examples of them being out to get you, including the alleged Justice Department targeting of right-wingers for speaking out at school board meetings. (The Justice Department was actually concerned about violent threats in response to school issues.) Trump has barely focused on this, but the rest of the right is obsessed with this and other alleged examples of "weaponization of government." I mean, honestly, it would be less embarrassing if this whole thing turns out to be espionage because at least there's a ...purpose beyond feeding the voracious ego of a soulless orange monster with mommy, daddy, and every other relative issues. At least it would mean more than impressing the dead-eyed zombies with botox smiles parading around a cut-rate Xanadu, pretending to worship the moron king who gets off playing DJ, spinning "YMCA" while everyone gorges themselves at the overpriced feed trough. God, this is all so devoid of meaning that the nation should be ashamed that it allowed his election, that it allowed him to roam free for so long, that it didn't rise up and vomit him out like bad, overcooked steak. Them picking up guns doesn't scare me. The scariest part is you have literally millions of Americans who would vote to put back in office a failed former president, thoroughly corrupt and immoral man and potentially convicted criminal, who has taken this country down a road it will never recover from, betraying them as well as his country for his own personal gain. This is some trailer park shit right here. Like when you're trying to make your double-wide look palatial (and I can make these jokes because, yeah, I lived in a trailer park in a double-wide when I was a kid and I...visited friends whose bathrooms were pimped out like a white trash Louis XIV decorated it). I mean, beyond the fake marble and fake gold fixtures, even beyond the whorehouse chandelier and the chintzy sconce...what the hell is that shower curtain? That's Dollar General chic right there. You know the joint is filled with black mold.

Are you looking for a place where you can get away from it all? Are you tired of all the incessant noise on your radio dial? (Incoherent shouting) Jim: This is a radio program about fish! Sped up voices: Ha ha ha! (Weird moaning, purring, mooing, distant voices, and fade.)